The Guitar...learning this thing isn't easy at all. I didn't think it would be and to be honest, it's not suppose to be right?

Nevertheless, here I find myself learning a brand new instrument at a time when I have no job...thank god the 4 lessons I'm taking is already paid for. I never gave the guitar much thought until about a year ago, i bought one thinking that I would take online lessons from Guitar Tricks it's a good enough site, not that expensive...but I swear the only thing I learned was a 4 note song that I could only play with one hand and although I can play that one song well...it doesn't make any sense because it's not a song at all...its just strumming the guitar. What a loser...

So now I am taking private lessons from Blue Bear School of Music...and I swear my teacher is the the lead singer of a band Maron and I saw here at The Independent on free concert night. Although we didn't stay, out of the two acts we did see, my teacher I swear played with one of them...but who knows, sometime all scruffy-looking, folksy white people look alike.

The first thing I am learning is that steel strings, hurt like hell, playing the blues isn't natural as all the blues musicians I have seen on tv make it out to be and part of me wishing I just stuck with the piano...i know I like that alot better. However, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves...learning the guitar is just a matter of time...mastering it will be impossible unless some miracle happens and I win the lottery that I never play and have free time because I can not because I was booted from work.

Pluses of taking private lessons are the same as the minuses...its just you and the teacher...no one else around that prepared for the group setting by learning a few strokes in order not to embarrass themselves in front of a group while you sit there completely discombobulated, forgetting which hand is left and which is the right. Utterly amazed at how uncoordinated you are. You think you got rhythm not just because your black but because when ever a commercial comes on with an recognizable jingle you can tap that thing out all night after hearing it just one time.

But as I am learning, tapping your foot to the latest Overstock commercial is a far cry from actually picking up an instrument you've never played before and believing that you are just going to tear it up!

Lesson learned.

And Now, Door #3:

Dwell

Ever since I got laid off I have been reading a book called The Ax (I will blog about this much later). There has been a few moments in the book where I can look at my particular situation and find parallels....except for the murdering parts (like I said, more on that soon). A couple of the sentences stood out immediately for me in the second chapter...

"...You also subscribe on your own to your trade journals." "...the magazine subscriptions are not part of the severance package." "When they were free, I rarely read them, but now I study them cover to cover. After all, I have to keep up. I can't let the industry move on without me."

And that's exactly how I feel...ever since I left work, all I have wanted to do was to stay in the know...of course i know that this was only a knee-jerk reaction to my current situation, thinking somehow that through magic I would master all that's in these magazines that are collected a nice thick layer of dust in my apartment. But I know the truth...i will flip through them, not having the patience to read every article...even though I know I need to. But I digress...

Dwell is that 'trade journal' for me.

Enjoy,

DjD

On the way outs...

Getting laid off is an odd experience...there are so many things that run through your head at one time. You can't focus on any one of them for too long because the moment you do another thought just jumps right in front...and you can forget about focusing on anything your manager is telling you because half your brain goes numb from the freak out bombardment and the other half is trying to think how you are going to get a job...

The numb side of your head goes something like this:

What the f*ck?!

This can't be happening!

Is he talking to me?!

I got bills, loans, rent...what the f*ck am I going to do?!

This is so embarrassing!

How am I going to tell my parents I no longer have a job?

2-weeks severance? What the hell is that?! How much is that?!

How much to I have in savings?

How do I tell my girlfriend that i got no endz?

Its 9.30 in the morning...what about all the meetings I have today?

Why me?!

Again, what the F*CK?!

Then you have to leave the room...and you start thinking about things that don't matter at all, but you can't help it because immediately upon leaving you feel this heavy blanket of "everyone already knows and I'm just the last to know." And that blanket is made of very heavy wool...

Everyone is sad for you, some are actually sad others are sort of sad but they all are grateful its you and not them. Never be fooled by a tear that may drop or a firm hug from someone that still has their job. Call me bitter, but when someone who is keeping their job comes up to console you, you know they are wanting to see a train wreck or something. I mean, I had people that were saying goodbye to be that I never talked to...not even on my first day when you meet everyone. It was like they were waiting from some "nigga" moment to happen so they can have something to point to and say, "see I told you he'd snap....you owe me 5 bucks!"

It was pretty pathetic but there was a blessing in all this. I really didn't like the place that much anyway and was planning to find a way out once my project was over...they just beat me to the punch...

So now I sit, make contact with other firms, apply for unemployment, stay as positive as possible and hope for the best.

And Now Door #3:

Dogglounge.com

I haven't been able to find a better place for Deep House Music...and not the cheezy advance lounge stuff...the real deal Hollifield stuff..

Enjoy,

DjD

Movin' On Ups?

Ok, i know its been just about forever since I wrote in this thing...what can I say, crap happens. Anyway, I'm trying my hand at advancing my blogging life by upgrading to WordPress...and as you can see from my new site..DjD..its not going to well. Who knew you needed a masters degree just to work a website? I know I didn't.

So what have I learned so far after spending the last 3 hours trying to set up the site, you ask? Well, it's good you brought it up...I have learned that wordpress is for the lazy website designer in you...if you read the Webpage Design Cookbook then Wordpress would be a breeze for you...I suppose if you went ever further back to FrontPage, then you'd be just laughing your way through WordPress. Well, there's not much laughter for me now. WordPress is freakin' difficult. Guess who is about to make BlogSpot work...that's right...ME.

Step One: Change the focus of the blog or start a whole new one.

Step Two: Learn how to write like a blogger or find a voice for Step One and stick with it.

Step Three: Links, links and more links. The blogsperts (that's right, I combined "blog" and "experts", take that), say that you don't have to know everything about everything because more than likely someone else has already written something much longer and way more intelligent than you on your current topic...so stick with the the right and left jabs and send them off to those who know the most. Or at least more than you seem to.

Step Four: Pics. If I'm going to add pictures to go with the words, I'm going to have to stick to one or two. No more six or seven shots to tell the story for me...that only makes it more frustrating with the photos don't line up properly or are not at a uniform size.

Step Five: Like-minded Humans. Unless I somehow think of the one topic that no one else has to written about...unlikely to say the least...I'm going to have to find others like me and read up their blogs to keep myself in the know. Of course I will be doing this without bitin'...and there is the challenge of Step Five.

Step Six: Door #3. I'm keeping that from this blog if I end up starting a new one...for me its cool to have some randomness built into the post. If I got something out of the site, maybe someone else will too...

So there it is...

And now, Door #3:

Fixed Gear Gallery

I just bought a proper road bike for riding around San Francisco...a Fuji track bite. My friends, who already ride "fixes" schooled me on the basics...and even though i got a freewheel for now, I know I will be riding my track fixed pretty soon...it's a pretty addictive way to ride a bike.

So this site is all about the fixed gear goodness...lots of images of peoples creations and inspirations for days...

enjoy,

DjD

Im back...for the moment...

Now after a ten month or so lapse in writing I really am hoping to get back into it at a normal pace...whether that's possible or not is debatable but hell, so long as Blogger keeps my account, I still have a chance :)

I have been working for STUDIOS Architecture since March and I gotta say it has been every bit of a roller coaster...the first two weeks I was so excited and nervous for starting something completely new in a new place that I could hardly sleep the night before my first day. When I got to work, of course I was introduced to about 80 people, whose names I still can barely remember...after that it was orientation time...learning the secret codes for locking up the place and night and all that...then it was lunch time. A special lunch just for the new people...but was everyone coming out...nope...just me, the woman that hired me...and the other person that started that day who actually quit for two years and came back. I don't think that deserved a free lunch, but whatever. After we came back, I thought with all my years in the biz I would be thrown into the fire on a project that needed my undivided attention.

NOPE.

I spent the next two weeks sitting at my computer going through the tutorial for REVIT the hottest drafting software out there for architects and designers. It was the most painful time I have ever had at a job. Fo realz! after the first week i was ready to throw in the towel...but then I remembered...we just drove 2000+ miles for this...and we are broke...so I snapped out of that crap real quick.

Since then things have gotten alot better at work...I have a steady project, my PM is so concerned with leaving everyday to pick up her kids and take them to the next useless little league sport that she is always going at 100 mph which is crazy frustrating when you are trying to learn a new program with a very high learning curve, adjusting to life in a new city and state, learning the "STUDIOS" way and try to make new friends all at the same time. If you have ever had a manager like this, I don't need to say anything else. If you haven't, just thank whatever god you believe in and keep reading....

In a huge effort to make friends at work, I have taken up pretty much every offer for socialization that has been thrown my way. I have gone to the standing Friday lunches with the young kids...I say young because at 34 I'm sure I got a good 6-9 years on the anyone else in the lunch crowd. One of the principals threw a party at his house...so we went to that...his place is NICE! Makes me think that someday i could have such a nice thing...but then reality reminds me that it will never happen...and recently I participated in Bike to Work day...which is the last time I will ever do that.

The long and short of it is you are biking to work to save the planet one day of bad CO2 gases from all the cars and after work there are routes to take that with stops for water, snacks, free crap and good times. However when you work with people who really freakin' bike everyday to work and you say, sure I will break out my 800lbs mountain bike slap on my jeans and join you for the after work bike ride, oh yeah, thank god its has been the hottest week ever in SF and today its 98 at 5.30 pm...sign me the f*ck up!

We didn't follow the routes, there was no tasty treats nor water breaks...infact we were the only ones to go the direction we went...straight up the hills to the Golden Gate Bridge...across that bastard and onto Sausilito Island...I would love to say that the views were beautiful but for the little time I was conscious all I could concentrate on was surviving...I think the picture says everything.

And now Door #3:

There is a website that every person of color should check out and keep going back to...Brightness

Everything you ever thought about white people, is freakin' true...you are not a racist.

Enjoy,

DjD

Long Time No Write....

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I will never be able to cover all the things that has happened since the last time I wrote on this thing. Most because there is no way for me to remember all the good, bad and ugly without being the first human in history to develop carpol-tunnel from one night of typing...yeah, there is that much.

So you get the famous bullet point summary...Enjoy:

-Came back from San diego

-Crap happened

-Almost completely split up with Soto and moved out

-Didn't completely split up with Soto and move out

-Went to Montreal for NYE with Soto and had a great time, see pics

-Reluncantly came back from Montreal and made up my mind to quit my job and pursuit work in California

-Janurary came and left.

-Feburary came and I reconnected with the potential job offers I found in SF, Cali

-Got hella-crazy offers and the decision made itself

-Quit VOA and off we drove to California, in March...see picks

-Now we are here SF at a coffee shop that not only has a happy hour for $2.95 a beer, they gots the good stuff too....hells yeah!

Montreal:

San Diego and Us

I am still somewhat confused as to what to say about San Diego...not the trip itself because we ended up having a really good time. But the issue is with San Diego as a livable city. At second glance its as if its the place the rich who can afford better than LA decide to live...and not work. LA is only a few hours away and with the car pool lane...which a marvel of an invention... the drive really isnt that big of a deal...

Thy Worst Enemy...

While you are growing up you often trip. The great thing about tripping is that you can always look back at what you tripped over and say..well next time I am going to look out for that and never trip over it again...

Then you grow up or at least you think you are grown and tripping turns into stumbling. And just like when you were a kid you look back at tell yourself...its worst than tripping, I almost fell down, well I am going to look out for that and never stumble over it again...

Finally, you have managed to trick yourself into believing that you are all grown up, you appreciate all you have accomplished, you are grateful for those that are around you and you are only looking at the world with a smile until you fall over that which has always come between you and actually happiness.

As you are lying there you simply can't believe this has happened again...and this time you fell all the way down. When you turn around you just know you are going to see something, some fucking thing that you missed when you were tripping, some god awful contraption that was invented solely to make you stumble and you missed it again.

The only problem is when you turn around, there's nothing there. No foreign objects were placed in your path that you couldn't help but crash into. When you turn around and find yourself staring at nothing; that's when it hits you...and it hits pretty hard.

It's you...and its has always been you. All you can do is sit there and stare at yourself. You cant use your mind to figure out this one...its what got you in this hole in the first place. You can only hope that your heart is strong enough to take the onslaught of truths that you are about to encounter.

-DjD